Good morning!

I just tried to FaceTime Jason and got the wrong number. How does that even happen? Good morning random dude in your bathrobe. Bet you weren't expecting this today:

I kind of want to call this guy back and ask who he was hoping to have facetime him from an unknown number at 8:15 in the morning?!

Good morning to you too, blog reader. I haven't blogged in a long time, but I've been going through a little bit of a third life crisis and need an outlet. I turned 31 in December. THIRTY ONE! Where has time gone? What am I even doing with my life? I feel like Pheobe in the episode of Friends where they all turn thirty and she finds out she's actually 31. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with 31. I didn't panic when I turned 30. My biological clock isn't ticking. It's the opposite of ticking; it's out of batteries in a ditch somewhere.

It's so superficial, but I think a part of it is knowing that my looks are going to go downhill from here. I was an ugly duckling in high school and I grew into myself in my twenties. I finally feel comfortable and happy with my appearance. But looks don't last. I used to work at Victoria's Secret, and one time this elderly woman came in to try on a push up bra. She asked me to help her in the dressing room. I went in and her breast was lying there in the bra like a flap of skin. There was nothing to push up. We tried folding it in, but that didn't do much either. I'm getting closer to the point of my life where I'll have to fold my boobs and it scares me.

I also think I expected to have accomplished more by now. I have brought two lives into the world. That's a big accomplishment. Neither of my kids have had lice (knock on wood). That's another accomplishment. I've traveled, but have I really seen the world? I think that because kids and marriage were not in my original game plan, life at 31 looks different than I had expected it would. I thought I would be singing and dancing on Broadway by now, but my singing and dancing is limited to the kitchen and the shower.

My friends and husband are amazing, too. They have high pressure careers and have done so much. I'm very proud of them, but sometimes I feel a little jealous. Most of my days are spent making sure my little humans stay alive and grow to be decent people who love God and others. This isn't a bad thing. It's beautiful, but it won't be forever. Will started all day kindergarten last year, and soon Ella will. Then what will I do all day? I'll be starting over at 35, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

In the mean time, I want to be my own person. As a mother, it's so easy to lose myself in the parenting process. Most of the pictures in my phone are of them. I don't want to look up when they go to college and wonder who I am without them. I used to be such a music snob, but I haven't been to a concert in years and I have a serious case of Bieber fever. What is happening to me? The free time that I do have, I waste on the internet. I have 4,442 pins on Pinterest. No that's not a typo.

My resolution this year is to create instead of consume. I took Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest off my phone. I want to spend the time I would have wasted with internet forever living fully and making a difference in the world.

This mental breakdown is brought to you by the Dale Turner YMCA kids corner.

That's enough naval gazing; it's time to do the kids' laundry. Will had to turn his socks from yesterday inside out today 😳

     Xoxo e


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  2. I love your honesty and while I don't have any answers, I want you to know that you are not alone in this season of life. By the way, I just turned 32. :)

    1. Thank you Danielly, and happy birthday! We will get through this season <3<3<3

  3. Sounds like we need a Sister Mommy date! I'm trying so hard not to freak out about grey hairs and not get too frustrated with my always sore neck and legs. Lol fold your you.

    1. Love you too big 😘😘 a sister mommy date sounds perfect!

  4. Okay I have to share this. I was reading my bible this morning and this verse jumped out at me. Could this be any more perfect? "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them."


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